Tired of working himself to the bone at his grueling office job, Midori Osaka longs for the simple life. When he's reborn in a fantasy world as Hisui, the youngest son of Baron Clematis, it seems like his dream is finally coming true—until he realizes this noble house is totally broke! With a family full of bullies and a monster-infested barony, Hisui's new life isn't exactly the relaxing getaway he wanted, though he at least has kindly older sisters to lean on. Just when escape seems impossible, Hisui runs into three self-proclaimed goddesses who grant him their power and awaken his incredible magical abilities! It turns out living the simple life isn't going to be so simple after all...

Three Cheats from Three Goddesses: The Broke Baron Wants A Relaxing Life! is written by Hanmenkyoushi, with illustration by kiltukaiki, and English translation by Melissa Chiam Published by J-Novel Club (April 24, 2025).

Lauren Orsini
Rating:

I'm trying to think of just one nice thing to say about this light novel. It is well translated and easy to read. Other than that, I was not a fan of Three Cheats from Three Goddesses: The Broke Baron Wants A Relaxing Life! which, by the way, is not even about a baron. This is the story about a five-year-old, then six-year-old third son of a baron and the many big-breasted women and goddesses who inexplicably find him to be a more attractive partner than any adult man. Combine pedophilia, incest, puerile revenge fantasies, and one of the most self-indulgent reincarnation concepts I've ever seen, and you'll get this book.

Once a dreary 30-year-old office worker on Earth, Hisui gets hit by a car and reborn as the neglected infant son of a country baron in another world. If it weren't for his three big stepsisters, one of whom is only described by the size of her chest, nobody would have noticed he even existed (except for bullying purposes). Hisui's one salvation (beside his sexy sisters) is that in this world, children have a slim chance of awakening to one of three magical powers on their tenth birthday—magecraft, spellcraft, or godcraft—gifted to the people of this land by the favor of its three goddesses. But one day while wandering in the forest at the age of five, Hisui encounters the three bodacious goddesses themselves, and they are so smitten with him personally that he becomes the first person, ever, to attain an affinity for all three powers—five years ahead of schedule! Oh and also they make him immortal, because why start showing restraint now? The goddesses are head over heels for Hisui, who they don't see as a child because they can sense he was reborn from life as a 30-year-old. So when they rub their breasts on his face, or get horny and proposition him, it's not pedophilia, ok? (It's pedophilia.) All the while Hisui and the goddesses get back at his mean, stupid older brothers. In a revenge fantasy scene that feels like it was written by a wronged child himself, the goddesses make Hisui's brothers pee their pants. Take that, everyone who isn't Hisui! This is all set against the laziest possible world building of your most derivative run-of-the-mill fantasy world, video game-style dungeons and all.

This isekai falls into the “slow life” subset, by which I mean very little happens. The goddesses train Hisui, who they call “Huey,” and make inappropriate overtures each day. Back at home, Hisui's sisters do much the same. I know Hisui is only a child on the outside and has the mind of an adult, but reading this novel was especially creepy to me because I have a five year old kid. In the author's note at the end, the novelist wrote that this book differs from the online serial because they gave Hisui a new magic all-powerful pet (like he needed any more power ups) and elaborated heavily on his early childhood. It makes sense if the sexual scenes between Hisui and the three goddesses were originally supposed to take place when Hisui was in an older body. This rewrite is skin-crawling.