I Want to Love You Till Your Dying Day

Episode 5

While a part of me wonders when the show will get into the specifics of the war that acts as the catalyst for the entire plot, it's nice that it flexes its philosophical muscles more directly this episode. War is a tragedy heavily tied to human nature that you could almost pessimistically see as inevitability. I like the nurse's line in this episode about how war doesn't really seem to bring peace; there are just calm periods between wars. In a lot of ways, the point of the war or how long a war has been going on doesn't really matter because ultimately, war sucks. People need to die to keep that war going, and there isn't a solution to the problem so much as there are just ways of mitigating the damages. It is very much an analogy of putting a band-aid on a broken arm, or I guess in this case, maybe a band-aid on an infection or some curse.

While I do think the show could've done a better job of highlighting just how uncomfortable Sheena felt about the war itself before this episode, I like the uncomfortable position she was put in throughout. The whole episode is made to highlight two things. The first is just how heavy the losses during war are felt. I like the subtlety of Gratitude Day and how it highlights that the pain of what's lost often gets left behind in the items that are left over by the students that died. The show is so subtle that it actually took me a while to realize that the girl who gives Sheena and Mimi those dresses actually had her roommate die during one of the previous attacks, which is why she says that the dresses won't ever be worn together again. While I wish there was more talk about the war in general, I do like how the show is playing with subtlety to really highlight that this is just the way these girls are forced to live, whether they like it or not. It's similar to how people are forced to endure whatever war their country or state is a part of, even if nobody asks for it.

The second thing that the episode highlights is Mimi's feelings about this war as its most effective soldier. I'm a little surprised that the show dropped the fact that Mimi's mom was the one who used the resurrection spell, which means I overthought last week's episode. This show doesn't seem to be trying to subvert any expectations or catch me off guard, so when in doubt, I should go with the simpler answer. That being said, Mimi is naïve to the idea of loss. She acts like a little kid who doesn't understand the weight of all of the deaths that she has caused because she's just doing what other people tell her to do. She can't die, so she can't really feel the consequence of what her loss could mean to other people, and therefore, she can't comprehend the loss that comes with other people losing their lives. She would probably feel really depressed if Sheena died in war, and I wonder if the show will set up something with that later on. But in a more worldly sense, death doesn't really have any meaning to Mimi.

The episode also highlights that educating her on the importance of life could actually have a negative consequence. Like it or not, Mimi's curse is an effective tool that helps the school lower the number of students sent out to battle. If Mimi decides that she doesn't want to fight anymore, that means more students will have to be sent out to make up for the difference, which means that more people will die. Again, Mimi is a band-aid, but a band-aid is better than nothing at all. No one thinks this is good, but no one has an alternative solution either, and that sucks, but so is the reality of war.

So the question posed to Sheena at the end of this episode seems to be one of the main emotional arcs for the entire show: what does Sheena want to do? Does she want to go out into battle herself? Does she want to stop Mimi from going out at all? Does she want to find a way to end the war differently? I don't know, but she doesn't need to solve one of the world's biggest issues in a night, so the most she can do is promise Mimi that she will be waiting for her when she gets home. I love that moment and the simplicity. While this show struggles to feel unique compared to its contemporaries, its simple, straightforward approach is one of its most endearing qualities. I look forward to seeing what potential solution Sheena comes to in future episodes.

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I Want to Love You Till Your Dying Day is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.